Friday, October 21, 2011

How I have come to walk along this path...

I didn’t always believe in Witchcraft or Wicca or anything like that.  But the idea of it always fascinated me.  And I loved and still love learning of the Ancient Gods we know of from Western Mythology and History.  Egyptian was and still is my favorite.  I was baptized when I was 12 years old of my own choice.  I don’t remember if it was Baptist or whatever so I always just said I was baptized Christian.

After that as I got older I really didn’t think the whole Church and Christianity thing was for me.  So longing for a Faith that would fit me I began to research different religions in hopes to find one I like.   My husband at the time (he is now my ex-husband) was or is Wiccan and he told me bits and pieces about what he knew and I researched from there.  I learned that in different forms of Paganism people worshipped the Ancient Gods from Ancient Greek, Roman, Norse, and Egyptian Lore.

During the time I am doing all of this research I am also desperate to have a baby.  My ex-husband was army and it was difficult watching all of those around me getting pregnant and having babies.  I had convinced myself after a miscarriage I had that I couldn’t have babies.  I remember it being late one night and I began to just talk aloud to myself but to me I was talking to Isis, the Egyptian Mother Goddess, Goddess of Fertility, & Motherhood.  I told her how I had always wanted to be a mom and nothing more and how horribly bad I wanted to get pregnant.

Roughly a month later I find out that I am pregnant after the Ex and I get back from visiting his family in his home state.  I have never doubted in my mind that Isis gave me my beautiful little girl.  I still believe to this very day that it was Isis who gave me my princess and I believe that Isis has done it again in this pregnancy.  Call me strange, I don’t care; It’s no different than a woman asking God for a baby and getting it.

Walking the path that I have chosen for myself make me feel like I have found something that helps complete me.  I feel good about my choice and have never thought twice about it after finding Isis, Osiris, Bast, & Anubis.  I am hoping to gain a better understanding of myself and the abilities that I know are within myself.  I wish to further my knowledge in Paganism to get a better understanding of myself, my past, and the world around me.

As we all know there is no Grandeur without Sacrifice.  And I know something is eventually going to slip away from me because of my choice of Faith.  I don’t talk about believing in Paganism with too many people openly because it’s more of a respect thing.  And that is what makes me nervous about my beliefs is family who isn’t accepting or won’t understand will shun me.  Family is everything to me and it would hurt horribly to lose any of them.

Like Ever Burning Fires,
                        Phoenix Passionfire

1 comment:

  1. I don't believe that just because you become comfortable and secure in a faith, that you will have to lose something big. As long as you balance things well, and are able to explain yourself to your family's satisfaction once they do approach the subject, you should be able to have the best of both worlds.