Friday, April 12, 2013

To My Devoted Husband

I remember back when I first met the man that I now call my husband.  It was summer time almost 5 years ago.  We had been chatting online over a dating site and a messenger for a few weeks and I finally got him to drive the 3.5 hours from where he lived to where I lived to meet me.  I remember he wore a black long sleeve shirt, one that had Homer Simpson on it playing air-guitar with the words "Professional Air-guitarist".  Even a black bandana with his long blonde hair hanging out from under it.

Have I ever mentioned how much of a sucker I am for guys with longer hair? *drools* They are sexy! Guys with tattoos rank right up there with them (which my husband has tattoos).

That weekend was a very nice weekend and he spent it with me, my oldest daughter, as well as my mother and sister too since I lived with them at the time.  What man in his right mind hangs out with a girl he just meets mom and sister in the same weekend!?  Well our weekend ended and he returned back to his home even though I protested, big time.  But he had to work, of course!

The next weekend he came back to see me and the weekend after that.  It was then that we decided I was going to go stay with him for a week and see how I liked it.  So we loaded myself and my oldest daughter up and we were off on our way to his home.

This is my favorite part!

The week came and went,  and we discussed waiting another week cause of money and gas prices.  Then it came around to, if I got a job i could just move in there.  Within a week from that point I had a Job at a pizza place i town not even 5 minutes from were we lived at the time.  We have been together since.

 It hasn't been all peaches and cream or daises and roses, though.  

Its been a bumpy road for us with lots of twists and turns and ups and downs.  But some how we have managed to fight our way through it every step of the way.   I mean, we have hit some really bad rough patches to where we were ready to go our separate ways and live our lives.  But we both knew we had something worth fighting for and so we both fought and prevailed!

I have changed so much over the last 5 years that I have been with my Husband.  I was literally on a path of self-destruction and if it wasn't for him i would have destroyed myself and taken everyone around me with me.

He managed to get me to pull myself out of my rear end and realize what I was not only doing to myself but those around me.  My Mom, My Sister, and most of all.  My Daughter.  I was so emotionally disfunctional that it is amazing I didnt drive myself into a loony bin.

My Husband thought I was joking when I told him was Insane.  I wasn't.

My Husband and I have been through some pretty rough patches in our relationship before we got married and since we have been married but I guess what they say is right, You know when you have something worth fighting for and keeping.

I should get to the real reason behind this blog.

My Devoted and Loving Husband.  Thank You so much for everything you have ever done for me through the years.  Thank you for being there when I just needed to cry.  Thank you for being honest with me even if I dont want to hear it.  Thank you for being there for me whenever I have ever needed you.  Thank you, My Beloved Husband, for Loving Me.

I don't care if you already know all this but you are the most amazing, fun, loving, amazing dad, great friend, and awesome husband.  I wish I knew how to express how greatful I am that I have you in my life and how amazing it feels for me to wake up every day knowing that I have someone who loves me.  And I love him.

I look forward to growing old with you and sitting next to you in our recliners while i watch you play your video games like you always have.  I love you, Batman aka My Husband.

*Batman- My term of endearment for my husband.


--P.S. For my Husband I figured I would post the link to the facebook page about the books he has written!   Here is a bit of info about the book snagged off the page.

The Tales of Ryan Foster by J.R. Gridley

The tales of Ryan Foster is about a boy named, you guessed it Ryan Foster who can't remember anything about his life before waking up four years ago in the woods outside a village of swordsmen. The people living in the village take him in and teach him how to use a sword until the day and evil race of creatures called Wulven attack the village. During the battle Ryan unleashes a power he never knew about to save the village, but instead of praising him the people accuse him of being a Terran and he has no choice but to leave the village. He doesn't know it yet, but this single event has set off a chain reaction of things that were set into motion years before, and will change the world of Gaia forever.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Lifestyle Changes

So a few months back I had decided it was time that I was going to make some changes in my life.  Some lifestyle changes.  Don't get the impression that I am unhappy with my husband or anything at home.  It isn't like that.  Like in the post before I have been very unhappy with myself.  I am unhappy that I haven't been as active as I want to be.  But with Nice weather finally gracing us with its presents in the midwest.  I am looking for to beginning to run with my pull dog again.  I think she misses it too.

Along with running with my dog; I am also going to start going to the gym on a regular basis. 3+ times a week I think.  For weights and light Cardio since I am going to be running with my dog too.  Weights are really important to me too since I am not that strong, for now.  I used to be, but then I got lazy and gained weight and lose some strength.  Work helps some what keeping me in shape.

The next item on my list of improvement is to be better organized.  I am a very disorganized person.  I usually mask it by calling it Organized Chaos.  Usually I can find things in my mess, okay so not really..  But I know I should try harder and pick up after myself more often.  I really need to go through my desk and reorganize it.  I think that would really help.  I mean, My husband was awesome enough to get me a new computer with a 27 inch monitor.  I can argue and I should really keep the area around it picked up.

I am also intending on spending more time with both my Daughters and my Husband.  I do have a pretty amazing family and I really should do more for them since they put up with me.  It doesnt help that my 7 year old Daughter has A.D.D. and is pretty high strung.  Like myself.  I want more time with her but I deny myself and busy myself with the internet, video games, and work.  I am not saying video games are bad.  I love video games!  Learning that she will be attending summer school and has well more then enough tardies makes me feel like a really bad parent.  Goddess help me.  But that is changing and I am going to MAKE more time for my girls and my husband.

Especially my Husband.  Since he started Swing Shift it feels like he is home more even though he is still working as much as he was before.  I didnt realize how short our time was together during the day till the other day when I was visiting a friend.  When I got home he was getting ready to go to bed.  At 8:30pm.  But he had to be up at 4am to be at work at 6.  And we have always talked on the phone, that is kinda how our relationship was built really.  So spending more quality time with him has become essential to my lifestyle changes.

Along with these changes there is others want to do to as well. Debts to pay.  Things I want to save up for.

    • Walk/Run with My Dog & Go to the Gym 3 times a week.
    • Spending time with my daughters each day.
    • Spend time with my Husband each day or as often as possible with work schedules.
    • Remind myself to create positive helpful energies and think of areas i want to improve in my life.  Remind myself how awesome I am and how awesome my friends, family, and life are as well.
    • Be More accepting of the bumps in the road and ride them out instead of fighting against them.
    • Take one day for two hours to take time for my studies in my Faith.
    • Post here once a week.  An overall review of things. From studies to kids to work and everything else.

I think this looks like a pretty good list to start with.  I may change and add to it as I go long.  These are just daily/weekly goals and ideas.  I will get into more long term goals at a later time.


Monday, April 1, 2013


I believe the energies you put out into the world affect the world around you. What I am saying is: When You are grumpy or upset or angry, the world around you is upset and in chaos.  It isn't that your world is in chaos and that is making you upset.. It is simply You have become upset and the energy you have put out into the world has upset the world around you as an effect.  You have to stay positive in your paths even if you do run into ‘stupid’ or ‘dumb’ people.  Life is full of obstacles, curves, and turns.  We just gotta put the pedal to the metal and haul ass down the road.

I know at times I can be a real negative nancy.  I also know for a fact that I upset my own world quite often when I become unhappy.  A recent venture is simply I am not happy with myself and, of course, today is my birthday.  Yes.  April 1st, April Fool’s Day, is my birthday.  I am 27.  So because I usually end up grumpy around my birthday (Story for another time) and the fact that I have just been rather unhappy and angry with myself I put a mass amount of negative energy out into my world and it affect my work and home life.  I upset the balance I had created in my life.

When I say I believe in energy and that I also believe that we create our own worlds.   This is what I am talking about.  Energy isn't just a current that runs through wires to power our homes.  It isn't just fuel to power our cars or generators.   It is all around us transferred from person to person just from a touch or even the air around them.  Some who have a similar belief to my own my call it Magic or Magick.   I simply call it Energy.

I want to thank my friends and family too because they affect my world from the energy they put out and you know what.  I have a pretty good life.  So be mindful of the energies you put out into the world and how they might affect the family around you.  Just a friendly thought.


Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Update, Redoing the Blog.

This is just a post to state that this blog is going to be completely redone.  Please be paicent with me.  None of my current posts will be deleted because i plan to continue my learnings as I go along. :)  I have just experinced a lot in the last year of my life so I feel my blog she reflect accordingly.  Thank you for your time.


Monday, January 2, 2012

Chapter 2

First things first.  Sorry its been a while since my last post and I can see that my last one was about one of my stones.  I still intend on posting more info about the stones I have.  I apologize for not posting in a long time but things have been crazy with my daughter’s birthday and the holidays.  Now it is a New Year and time to put the pedal to the metal and get my butt in gear to do this and start posting.

So much has changed for me in the last few months.  A habit that has had a great hold on me for a long time needs to come to an end.  So I am taking steps to break free of this habit.  I even wrote a spell of sorts asking Isis for her strength to help me become a stronger person and walk away from this horrid habit.  I have faith that I will break free.

Anywho, back to the task at hand.

The book, To Ride a Silver Broomstick, lists various different ‘types’ of witches.  From the Alexandrian Witches to Kitchen Witches to Wiccan Witches.  It asks me to write down the names of the ‘types’ of different witches that interest me along with a brief description of each one of interest.  Calling myself an Egyptian Pagan makes this a little more difficult.

But I will do as it asks.  Maybe I will gain some insight.

Kitchen Witch – A kitchen witch is one who practices by hearth and home.  The deal with the practical side of the religion, magick, the earth and the elements.

Celtic Wicca – Celtic/Druidic pantheon mixed with a little ritual Gardnerian, and heavily stressing the elements, nature and the Ancient Ones.  They have a vast knowledge and respect for the healing and magickal qualities of plants and stones, flowers, trees, elemental spirits, the little people; gnomes, and fairies.

Hereditary Witch – One who can trace the Craft through their family tree who have been taught the Old Religion by a relatives who was living at the same time.

It also asks for me to leave room to add information as I learn about the ones that interest me.  Being as this is my blog  I will add as I need to.

I like how the summary says that we need to remember that no matter what type of witch we claim to be that we must be mindful of what we say when referring to the Craft and keep generalities to a minimum.  Just like each human is different just as the differences in our religion and beliefs are different.

Like Ever Burning Fires,
                Phoenix Passionfire

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Stones & Crystals - Fluorite

First off… IM SORRY! It shouldn’t have taken me this long but life has been crazy and I haven’t been feeling good thanks to the weather change and being pregnant.  Now.  Onward.

As I have said before in a previous blog, I carry a small collection of different stones and crystals with me.  I carry them because of the different things they can do for me.  Well the first one I am going to discuss is my Fluorite Point that I wear around my neck.  It is a really pretty stone; dark green with a touch of purple that you can see if you hold it up to the light.

Fluorite, also known as Fluorspar, is a Halide Mineral (composed of calcium fluoride, CaF2), which is a mineral class for minerals dominant with halide anion.  It can be a varity of colors, from Colorless to Green, to a bluish black.    When Fluorite forms it forms as well-formed course sized crystals; also nodular, botryoidal.  Rarely forming in Columnar or fibrous, granular or massive.

The word fluorite is derived from the Latin root fluo, meaning “to flow”.  This is because the mineral would be used in Iron Smelting to decrease the viscosity of slags at a given temperature.  This is a result of the Ionic nature of the mineral.

Fluorite was used by the Ancient Egyptians to carve statues and scarabs.  The Chinese used it in carvings for over 300 years!  During the 18th century Fluorite was turned into a powder and mixed with water to relieve the symptoms of kidney disease.

Fluorite can be found in: Canada, USA, South Africa, Thailand, Peru, Mexico, China, Poland, Hungary, Czechoslovakia, Norway, England, & Germany.

Now enough of the Science let’s get to the good stuff!

It is said that Fluorite absorbs and neutralizes negative vibrations; and makes one more receptive to the vibrations of other stones.  It should be kept in every room of a home.  Being known to increase concentration and aiding in decision-making made fluorite also known as the “Genius Stone”.

As for healing properties; fluorite can be used with other stones.  It helps to open the way for the power of other stones to be effective.  It may be used in meditation to help raise the power of concentration & energize the body.  Yellow Fluorite is said to enchance the intellect and magnify mental powers.

Healers use it to help with the respiratory tract and with ulcers by stimulating cell regeneration in these areas.  It can strengthen bones, improves arthritic or other join ailments.  Fluorite can be laid directly on the body.

Since I believe in the energies of the world, and not necessarily magick;  I have a few others notes on what Fluorite can do.  It can bring: Order out of Chaos, Loyalty, Discernment, Find Better Friends.  This is also a good stone for emotional healing.

Which for most things that fluorite can do is why I wear my Fluorite Point.  I believe in what it’s doing for me and I have seen change in my world.  Change your energy, change your thoughts, change your world.  Stones are something I have always believed to hold special energies and abilities that aid and harmonize with our own energies to strengthen and improve our lives.

Well, that it for now.  Again, sorry so late.

Like Ever Burning Fires,
                        Phoenix Passionfire

Information Collected From: Wikipedia - Fluorite & Emily Gems - Fluorite & Notes My Uncle has given me.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011


Dangit! I just am about ready to post the first blog i meant to post last night before midnight and before i can get the blog saved to my computer on Microsoft Office...  My comp decides to crash and restart itself! I am gonna go cry in a corner now why i figure out how i am going to do that all over again *sigh* Sorry for the Delay and no matter how long it takes me to get the first one up.. I am doing a full 30 days of this! *nodnod*

Like Ever Burning Fires,
                  Phoenix Passionfire